Good morning, staff and students of JMC. My name is Toluwalase Kunle-Ajayi, and I am here to present the virtue of the week: “Dire en une langue d’amour,” which means “Speaking in a language of love.” 
Have you ever been so upset by someone that, by accident, you spoke to them harshly? Or perhaps you were having a normal conversation and made a joke that didn’t sit well with the person you were talking to? As we go about our day, conversing with friends, fellow staff, and students, we may sometimes say things that have the potential to hurt someone’s feelings. This is the concept I want to address today.
A common misconception is that speaking in the language of love is just about saying things the other person wants to hear and that it’s limited to verbal communication. Yes, I titled it “speaking,” but the oral part isn’t the whole picture. It involves both verbal and non-verbal actions, which means it can encompass speaking, acting, or both.
In our community here in JMC, it has been observed that many of us do not respect others in the way that we speak to them. For us students, it is a regular occurrence. We sometimes get carried away and just speak painful words to one another. Some of our teachers have also been caught every now and then, speaking hurtful words to some of us students. I have often consoled some of my friends who were battered with painful words from a teacher.
Sometimes, some of us do not think before we speak. We just open our mouths and say the first thing that comes to mind without properly reflecting on the consequences of our words. Words can be hurtful, can cause trauma, can constitute abuse, can ruin a person’s life, and can even kill! Yes, painful words can kill! They can drive a person towards depression and demotivate people who are struggling with their self-esteem.
Wouldn’t you enjoy seeing a smile on someone’s face or hearing their laughter? Wouldn’t you also be pleased to know that you were the reason for that joy? The benefits of speaking a language of love affect both sides positively, creating what some might call a symbiotic relationship. Our words can be more gentle, sensitive, compassionate and loving. One good conversation can inspire the other, make a person’s day, and even cheer them up from a difficult situation. One gentle conversation can save a dying soul and revive their drooping spirit.
There are several ways to express a language of love towards others:
Control your anger by choosing to remain silent when necessary.
THINK before you speak: Is it True, Helpful, Important, Necessary, or Kind?
Never use someone’s weaknesses, faults, or circumstances against them.
Give respectful compliments.
Cheer up those who are feeling sad.
Advise others out of love rather than condemnation.
Be compassionate when pointing out the faults of another.
Avoid the use of vulgar language when expressing yourself.
Put yourself at the receiving end and ask, “How will I feel if these same words were said to me?”.
To those in our community who are kind with words and are gentle in scolding, thank you. Please keep up the good work. Help to teach others to be gentle with their words. To those who do not know how to be kind with words, please make a conscious effort to learn and grow in the practice of speaking with love. IT IS POSSIBLE! IT IS DOABLE. We can be gentler and more compassionate in the manner we speak with one another around here, both to staff members and to our fellow students. To some of our teachers who speak to us kindly, WE LOVE YOU! Please keep up the good work. To those our teachers who are almost always harsh with their words on us, we beg you to please be kind and treat us with more compassion.
There is a quote I’d like to share that helps me personally when it comes to avoiding hurtful words toward others: “Ne me jugez pas. Vous ne pouvez pas gérer la moitié de ce que j’ai vécu. Il y a une raison pour laquelle je fais ce que je fais, il y a une raison pour laquelle je suis qui je suis,” which means, “Don’t judge me. You can’t handle half of what I’ve dealt with. There is a reason I do the things I do, and there is a reason I am who I am.” Let us cultivate the culture of speaking to one another with greater love and gentleness.
Thank you for listening and have a pleasant week ahead!