Good morning, Staff and Students of Jesuit Memorial College. My name is Oluwatamilore Ayeni and allow me to start off today’s talk with a story that some of us may relate to. There was once an SS3 student named Pamela, and she was a very serious student. But as serious as Pamela was, she always made time to play
AYENI, Oluwatamilore Ayodele
basketball with her friends during sports time because at the end of the day, all work, and no play makes Jill a dull girl. One day, the principal of her school announced that her entire class would have some form of Mathematics class throughout Saturday to try and prevent the underperformance in the certificate exams in the sets before hers. Pamela was devastated, she was already planning to read but she would not be able to play basketball with her friends. Although she was not happy, she attended the class. The first few periods were fine, she listened, and she understood the teacher. Before she and her classmates were dismissed for lunch, the principal came in to announce that the evening session was starting at 3:30pm and all students were required to be back in the lecture hall by that time. She heard this announcement made by her principal, but she did not listen. She thought she deserved her time to play basketball, so she let the announcement enter through left ear, and out through the right. She ate her lunch and dressed up in her sportswear to play her sport. Her friends: Kamdi, Chimsi, Ezuka and Tamilore asked her why she was dressed in her sportswear and begged her to just attend the lecture, a few hours of sports was not worth the potential trouble she could get into but no, she was determined to skip the class with other girls like Josephine and Clover. Once again, she heard the pleas of her friends, but did not listen. She played basketball that day and she enjoyed it very much, she even rubbed it in the faces of her friends that she was able to score a 360-windmill dunk. The next day, the principal announced that those who were absent for the class would be given 5 days of detention, a disciplinary meeting with their parents and an absolute ban from games for the rest of the school year. Pamela was broken. She cried. She had “heard” the principal, but did not “listen”.
That brings us to our virtue of the week, Listening. To understand what listening means, we first have to understand the difference between listening and mere hearing. ‘Hearing’ is an event; it is something which happens to us as a natural process but ‘Listening’ is an action; it is something we do consciously. Hearing is physiological and only uses the ears, while listening is psychological and requires the use of the brain to interpret the message. It’s also important to note that “hear” is transitive, whereas “listen” is intransitive. To listen, you have to hear but to hear, you don’t necessarily have to listen. Do you think it is possible to go through school, without listening to teachers teach or be with our family without listening to what they had to say. Imagine if I never listened to what my sister had to say when she came to me, what kind of relationship would we have? What if Akpevwe only heard her teachers and she never jotted down what they said, would she still top her class? Listening is an integral part of life and remains essential for education.
What do we have to do to listen? Silence is key to good listening. It is also important to be attentive even in silence. This is because it is possible to be silent, to hear the one speaking without listening to them. When someone is talking, you can’t just talk over them as if they have nothing to say. A good listener is silent when someone talks because he or she is not only able to understand what is being said but also is able to detect the underlying meanings or emotions that are being conveyed in what is being said. Silence not only shows courtesy but also ensures our attentiveness. Another thing is to listen without judging and jumping to conclusions. It involves being present and aware, not only of the words being spoken but of the emotions, intentions, and silence behind them. Mindful listening encourages compassion, patience, and a non-judgmental attitude, allowing the listener to deeply connect with others and the present moment. When Fr. Alex first announced the Grand Silence, we all jumped to the conclusion that it was a useless idea and cannot be enforced. I say we because I too did this, but what if we took our time to think about its benefits? We need to culture ourselves to listen first, before judging. Passing a judgement too quickly does not make us evaluate a situation effectively.
Sometimes, listening does not only involve what is said but also what is not said. George Lucas, the screenwriter of Star Wars, when making his multibillion-dollar deal with Disney for the rights to the Star Wars franchise, was able to identify that Disney left out the rights to toys in the negotiation and because of the flaw, he was able to make millions with Lego. Not everything needs to be said and in life, the hard truth is not everything will be said. Often, we find ourselves in situations where a teacher mentioned something but did not say it explicitly and that thing, he mentioned finds its way into our CE or CA. Just the other day, Mr. Sam, my Economics teacher, gave my class a question for our CE “Classify JMC as a business organization” and we were all livid. We all remembered the conversation we had about it in class, but some could not remember the exact conclusion of that conversation. We were not told directly that JMC was a non-profit limited liability company, but it was mentioned during the conversation and while all of us heard it, only some of us listened. Listening involves following through with action.
Now, the benefits of listening. In the context of JMC, it definitely allows us to stay out of trouble. Imagine if Pamela listened to her principal or her friends, would she have gotten into trouble? It makes us avoid unnecessary punishments and sanctions that Fr. Alex dishes out every assembly because we refuse to comply. When we listen at morning prayer and Mass, it helps to collect ourselves, reflect and plan our day. Listening also allows us to be emotionally intelligent. Nobody likes a friend that cannot take social cues, someone that cannot sense when someone is not in the mood or needs some form of company. Furthermore, listening makes us generally better people. Active listening encourages us to see issues from different viewpoints, recognize other people’s feelings, and, generally, appreciate them.
As we go through this week, I need us to intentionally be better listeners. As students, we should listen to not just staff but students as well. Listening more helps us to be not only the best versions of ourselves but also better people to others. As a staff of Jesuit Memorial College, it is also important to be able to listen to students. It is definitely difficult to listen to the whinings of young growing teenagers but a listening ear is a loving ear. I would like to end this talk with this quote from Stephen R. Covey, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Thank you and have a great week ahead.
AYENI, Oluwatamilore Ayodele
Class of 2025